Hoppin’, Skippin’, Lovin’

ImageA times it seems there are no adequate words to describe Violet.  We had quite a lovely time celebrating her 8th birthday this weekend.  Her first request: a baseball game.  Wish granted: I won tickets to a game during a radio contest, and the evening was rounded off by a memorable fireworks display.  

Second request: a trip to Paris.  She awoke early Sunday morning and while everyone else was sleeping, we walked to the town park, decided to call it Paris, and frolicked around in the early light.

Third request: 2,000 hugs.  A work in progess.

Fourth request: Build-A-Bear.  This past month of activity has set a record for our family: highest # of visits to a mall.  May that record hold for the rest of our history.

Fifth request: To smash her face into a piece of cake.  

And so, teaching us little lessons about going all out in the moment, Vi took advantage of this special day and ended the celebration as she had been hoping to for months.

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To Violet: A , caring, wild-hearted, creative, passionate, thoughtful, loyal, excitable, thinking, hopping, skipping, loving gal.  Words cannot contain you, Mae Bug.  

 

Tears of Joy

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 Today is Annabelle’s 10th birthday, and I made sure to hold back my proud and thankful tears as we stood at the bus stop together.  This gal and I spent most every day of our lives together for the past 9 years. Motherhood is fraught with so many juxtapositions- being responsible for well-being & sharing in carefree play,  weariness from duties & the boundless energy of youth, fear of failure & forgiving, tender hearts, necessity of care in the home & the wide open, creative possibilities in each moment.  The list is inexhaustible, but the dawn shines upon the individuals in the story.  Annabelle is a gem.  A rarity.  A thinking, creative, exploring, adventuring, story-loving, caring, friendly, kind-hearted gem of a daughter.  She told me a few months ago that I was one of her best friends, and can echo the same.

And so today I’m celebrating this treasure.  Raise your coffee mug with me in a toast: to the practical joker, the lover of puns, the girl that knows what she likes and doesn’t budge, the girl who never wants to brush her hair or take a shower, and is most comfortable at home with family -or- outside digging up worms, building forts, and cutting stuff with her pocketknife…Cheers!

Let Comparison Work For You

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“He was like a man who has got used to drinking the finest wine, and now finds that everyday wine tastes like vinegar.” -Pillars of the Earth

Would Spring be as refreshing without the drawn-out harshness of the bitter cold, limiting days of winter?  Would the pallet of color that we experience anew each May be as intoxicating if we had not just departed from the steady hues of grey and white?  If we had nothing for comparison, would the beauty of the earth be as riveting as we find it in these first few months of warmth?

I’ve read the quote that “comparison is the thief of joy”, and that notion has been rattling around inside my head for months.  I’ve been trying to make it work; trying to find the truth that may lie within that short string of words.  In my ruminating, however, I have come to my own working conclusion about such things. Comparison can lead to greater joy, appreciation, and experience.  Comparison can help us to recognize what we value and what we hold dear.  Comparison can enable us to appreciate differences.  Comparison can enlighten.   Without attaching the act of comparison to the idea of grading the juxtaposed ideas, comparison can be our friend as we journey on in life, and need to reposition ourselves (from the minutia of days to the grandest of happenings).  

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While I was doing my undergraduate work, I came to detest deconstructive criticism.  Why?  Because the goal of such work is to prove that the text is not unified, to poke holes in the text, and to thus render it lacking in any meaning that was intended by the author, which resonates as sarcasm too much for me to be an appreciator.  As a writer, this type of literary criticism has served as a haunting force that enables fear, angst, and lack of self-confidence, which then can issue the artist a disability card.  My creative/spiritual soul is best served when I am void of the deconstructive, critical spirit.  And, quite honestly, I think we are all best served by the absence of such a voice.

An example?  We’ll use the act of writing as our example, but you can replace “writing” with any other verb (practicing your faith, parenting your children, loving your partner, baking cookies for a friend, et al.).  So we set out to write (observe, parent, love, bake).  We sit down.  There is an abundance of potential energy to do this with our entire being.  The ideas are alive, bouncing, and ready to flow from the invisible to page. And we begin, fast and furious, or slow and calculated.  The action of forming ideas with words flows from our minds as if we were designed to do this.  There is joy.  Exuberance.  Excitement.  The page fills.  The heart soars with contentment.  Pause.  Reflection.  Re-reading of the work.  (Enter: deconstruction).  Criticism of all elements: motive, ability, execution.  Mind whirls.  Why did I think I could do this? I see the holes.  Their minds won’t be able to follow.  The example was poor.  Vocabulary too narrow.  I’m kidding myself to think I can do this.  Poking holes, one by one, our inner voice tears apart the text, phrase by phrase, until there is no good reason to refrain from balling the paper up and tossing it into the trash.  And then, the worst of all things: there is great fear to try again.  Stillness.  Lack of Motion.

Who is best served by this kind of thinking?  No one.  And though I have no cure for debunking such a critical mindset, I do know something that works best:  to change frequencies.  To veer away from that which debilitates.  And to learn how to gravitate toward a calmer, more caring, extra loving inner voice that affirms the given gift of expression, and propels us to move forward no matter the external response.  Most of us have been to an art gallery, seen the work created, and thought internally, “Well, I could have done that!”.  And to quote my friend Caleb: “But the thing is–you didn’t.”  So, essentially, keep at it.

Yeah, go on.  Do that thing you feel you were meant to do.  Let loose.  Give yourself the freedom to forget the deconstructive critics and to soldier on as if it’s your last day to do so.  Compared to that fearful way of being/living/creating…the emboldened, enlivened, excited, confident self is surely the more suitable choice.  Good thing we have comparison to help us out in this matter.  Because if we didn’t….

Slow & Steady

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A Minor Bird by Robert Frost

I have wished a bird would fly away,

And not sing by my house all day.

Have clapped my hands at him from the door

When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

The fault must partly have been in me

The bird was not to blame for his key.

And of course there must be something wrong

In wanting to silence any song.

A morning to confuse them all

I’m sitting in my 3-season writing studio (old garage) enjoying the gift of two unseasonably warm days at the end of this momentous first month of the year. It was a great morning with the kids before school–everyone motivated to face the day after good & plenty rest and some fabulous muffins. Oh, and the fact that winter coats could be left at home was a favorite among all.

I hear a chickadee singing overhead coupled with the chattering of other birds that’s not so common in January, and the memories these sounds call to mind lead me to the conclusion that today will be a day full of contemplation, time spent outdoors, reading, and writing. This morning seems to be touched with a little bit of magic, blessing, or whatever you want to call it.

If you’re bothered by paper waste, you may want to stop reading here. This week we’ve implemented something–paper plate palette. The kids chose the dinner menu and are responsible for preparing the meal and cleaning up. Oh, and we’re only using paper plates/bowls. The why is very simple–I need to tackle a large number of house projects before we have some sweeping changes in February. Eliminating the wash-dishes-for-hours necessity frees up a considerable amount of time each day. It’s only for one week, I promise!

A few random thoughts–

“Safety Not Guaranteed” is a great movie.

Vitamin B really does affect energy levels.

Mopping the kitchen floor is a newfound pleasure of mine.

I know cardinals don’t typically lay eggs til late Spring, but we have some baby cardinals in our yard. It happened last year, too. I’ll spare you any “early bird” puns.

I have met some amazing folks during recent travels. An example–I left my phone charger on the train a few weeks back. One day after realizing this I received an email from another traveler about my oversight, and three days later the charger arrived in my mailbox. Or how about Glen from Sonoma who taught four strangers to play a very entertaining card game called Casino. Or Ed and his fascinating stories about working in the steel engineering industry. Or Jean and Julie, a couple visiting the States from Australia and their valiant effort to see the world together while walking through battles with cancer. I continue to be inspired by connecting with people who are determined to live their lives to the fullest, and to offer kindness and love to those they meet along the way.

I’ve Been Away

Working on prelims at Blue, a favorite little spot on Main Street.

Working on prelims at Blue, a favorite little spot on Main Street.

I think I developed a new skill during the busy holiday season–talking without realizing that I’m talking.  My brain would process auditory stimulus , and my words would formulate responses that were informed, coherent, and precise.  Automaton-style.

I took a breather from the end-of-the-holidays grind, and hopped a train to Omaha for a quick 24 hour visit to catch up with my beloved relatives, watch Downton Abbey with my sis, couple carbs + fat at every meal, banter all-things-political with my pops, enjoy a pre-dawn conversation with ma, and serve as human jungle gym for my nieces/nephews.  The train is a perfect way to wind down.  I snapped a few shots you can view here: As Of Late

I had the pleasure of listening to some fantastic tracks while traveling.  A few:

Ho Hey

Waltz Across Texas

No Light, No Light

Forgiveness

Ghost

You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away